Postpartum Depression: My Story

I had my daughter 8 months ago. I am still dealing with postpartum depression. I have had depression constantly since having Maddie. I have not seen a therapist about it, but have been managing it on my own. Keep reading if you want to know more about postpartum depression and my story.

What is Postpartum Depression? According to https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/postpartum-depression-facts/index.shtml, postpartum depression is a mood disorder that can affect women after childbirth. Mothers with postpartum depression experience feelings of extreme sadness, anxiety, and exhaustion that may make it difficult for them to complete daily care activities for themselves or for others. Postpartum depression is not something that every mother has. For the mothers that do have it, they did not wake up one morning and ask for it. It just happens to the best of us.

Some symptoms that may indicate you are struggling with this are:

  • Feeling sad or hopeless
  • Crying for them usual or for no reason
  • Not as much interest in things
  • May put on a fake smile
  • Oversleeping or not sleeping, even when baby is
  • Not eating enough or eating too much at once

>>How to get help for PPD<<

In order to know if you have PPD, you have to get tested by a psychologist or doctor. You CANNOT diagnose yourself. You may notice the symptoms, but only a doctor or psychologist can know for sure.

Your psychologist or doctor may refer you to a psychiatrist, so that you are able to get on some medication to help relieve your symptoms of PPD.

Make sure to let your family, significant other, friends know that you are struggling with this. You need a strong support system during this time. DO NOT DO THIS ALONE!

My story with PPD

My name is Jacqueline and I have postpartum depression. I had my daughter July 19th, 2017 and I struggle with it to this very day. I have days where I think I’m a good mother and days where I feel like I’m a horrible mom.

>>The beginning<<

I had to get an epidural due to having bad back labor. I began to put myself down about that and started taking everything personally. I knew something was off every time I walked by a mirror because I saw every flaw in myself and my body even more so than before. I started to not shower as often or care about how I looked. I wouldn’t change shirts for days. I wouldn’t brush my teeth. I was focusing all on my daughter and wasn’t doing anything for myself anymore. I was crying for no reason and getting upset at every little thing. Everything made me cry. I felt I was changing her diaper wrong, feeding her incorrectly, not holding her enough, etc. I just felt terrible and down. I had occasional bad thoughts about myself and thought my daughter deserves better. I had days where I forgot to eat and days I didn’t drink water. I was being distant with my husband. He knew I was struggling with PPD before I did. I began to read mommy blogs and researched everything because I felt I was doing it all wrong. I love my daughter but I just felt like I wasn’t enough.

>>How is my Postpartum Depression now?<<

I am doing much better. Yes, I still struggle with it but it is not as bad. I see the good in me again. I’m starting to love myself. I realized that no parent is perfect and we all have different ways of raising our children. Nothing I was doing and am doing now is wrong.

Thank you for reading. To all the moms out there struggling, please seek help! Also remember you are enough and you are a good mother. What are some things you started to notice that made you think you may have PPD?

2 thoughts on “Postpartum Depression: My Story

  1. Postpartum depression is like having a chunk of your body represented to you – it can be hard to imagine. But, then again, when you have the joy of your life before you – wouldn’t you want to be happy to see it mimic your expression?!

    Babies take time to grow – most mothers are used to sleeping with their baby’s fathers – grown people. So when they find themselves sleeping with someone so young, they might find themselves in an uncomfortable situation. It’s good to accept them as they are and feed them till they become useful and start earning in their everyday lives. Just thinking this thought might make you overcome whatever past emotions you were experiencing. The future is now!

    Another thing is – that mother’s would love to feel like their babies and this can be very saddening since the brain of babies is very nubile and not mature yet. They’ll have to wait thirteen or fourteen years before they can relate and synchronize with their kid(s) completely.

  2. Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I’ll make sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely return.

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